Sanitary pads/Tampoons: Time to break the taboo, being realistic.

               

Looking at the tampons and sanitary pads on the aisle in the shopping mall Vihaan asked me what all this stuff is about. Are they any form of adult diapers or something? Well at that instant I was not sure how to answer this question, but just to avoid our conversation at that moment I said these are to maintain female hygiene and I will explain in detail after we reach home. Wondering if he has grown up enough to understand menstruation/Puberty? I wanted to buy time to think of possible ways to make this little mind understand.

It was when I had my periods first; that I knew something like this even existed. On that day at the second hour of school when I walked to submit the assignment my teacher noticed the stains on my skirt, well I was not aware of it. She called my mother immediately to take me home. I was not sure what was wrong but scared and confused I waited for my mum. My mum being typical conservative types had not explained about this phase before or even when I menstruated. The only thing she told me was it is going to happen every month, so how to use the sanitary pads and maintain my hygiene that is it. Well after that came worst days n nights. Pain, overflow, stains on clothes/bed sheets and then most annoying was going to school even on those days. As time passed by I learnt the art of being aware and checking myself often to avoid embarrassing situations, but all these I learnt by myself.

I do not blame my mum or dad, as they were born in an era where even being on periods was considered a sin how could I expect them to talk about it. But now that we know menstruating is nothing to be ashamed about then we must also learn to keep our children updated so that they don’t land up in embarrassing/complicated situations.

All these years of growing up Vihaan never had questioned such a thing? But he is no more a kid; I suppose that an 8-year-old has the right to know the reason for the use of sanitary pads. I still had lots of thoughts running in my mind, whilst husband didn’t approve of me talking about it. He felt the kid is too young for this discussion and he will learn by himself at the right time, this is how he grew up and he expected the same from Vihaan. I disagree; the right time to learn anything is when the question arises. And now that the little guy put up a question he deserves an appropriate answer. Mr Husband knows he cannot stop me and so he asked me to not force things if the little boy feels uncomfortable about the discussion, well I happily agreed to this. 

It is not just girls, even boys need to learn and understand the physical changes that happen in the process of adulthood. Menstruating is natural and he needs to learn to respect every girl/women going through this phase. I wanted him to get the first-hand information right, he could learn it all from the internet as its easily accessible but since he took a step to ask me it means he trusts me and so it is my duty to provide him with the facts. Educating kids about menstruation/puberty is still treated underrated in many countries, and talking to kids about the most important part of their life is considered not safe before they reach that stage. 

This little mister was always curious about anything new he sees or hears and he wants all the details from me. He comes up with a bunch of questions every now and then and sometimes I would find it so difficult to answer that I take time off to find the right way to answer him. I was hoping that by now he must be building up the list of questions here. He knew that I wanted to take some time and also the right place to answer all his questions. I hoped he would talk after we reach home but this boy did not want to wait till we reach home. The moment we started the car he politely asked me, mom, can we talk now. I knew he wanted to know everything before the curiosity gets over him. I put away my phone and said yes, we may. I did my part of explanation including menstruation cycle, female/male genitals, sexual context regarding this and how the puberty affects both girls and boys but in a different way, studying biology was helpful. It was natural to go through this process, but how it has been treated so far and how stressful it can be for girls (note puberty is not easy for boys also).

He listened to everything without any hesitation, I was so happy that he was open to this topic the look on his face told so. Kids are like a sponge gives them the right information they absorb it and spread around the same nothing less nothing more. Am glad that I took a step to break the patriarchy of old tale that menstruating is a sin. The natural process must be accepted with respect, dignity and humanity.