Depression: love, care, trust and (self)help is the best medicine- part 1

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It is said that every day is a new beginning; with the sun rise the day brings new hope. However it was different with me. I dreaded to see sunrise, the brightness it bought along pulled away the warmth I was happy to be in. I had been living in a shell of my own, with all the daily routine which came down as a burden to me I no more had the vision of colour or happiness within.

Every day when the sunset I could feel that my heart is singing its favourite tune, music is the soul of life and my life would wake up only when the light dies. For a person who feared darkness for past 25 years has now embraced it with whole heart. When the movement around slows down life within me wakes up to recognize the colours. Being alone has become luxury and now it is possible only when the day ends as the hustle from the rush of the day has stopped and everyone around have slipped into their dream lands in sleep. But this made me wake up and enjoy my solitude.

I had no one to talk to and so the darkness turned my friend it would understand the pain I felt and the void in my heart was enjoying the warmth the nightfall shared.
I knew something was not right but how to find what is happening was not known to me. Being lost for so long did not even let me open my mind; I need to get out of my so called comfort zone as it didn’t seem to be normal.

I was in depression; it took very long for me to find out(4 long years).

Now you may be wondering how I found out that I suffered so much, well it all started when I decided to go out for lunch date with my daughter (basically she wanted to go out and not me). I could see myself being out of the world as it appeared I did not belong there, I was an alien in this world. Stepping into place for lunch was like walking on fire. Not that it was first time I went out by myself, but since I gave away my freedom for someone else and let them decide for me I never went alone and all this happen after my marriage and kid took over my life. But before that I had my life to myself and I would decide where and what I would have lunch.

That day was a real life changing experience for me as I could realize that I don’t know where I left the real me behind trying to build the dream world  being ideal mom, ideal wife I failed being ideal me. I was the perfect me once upon a time, but with time everything changed and the change was never good at all.

It does not matter if the beginning is not good, it matters only when it ends on the better note. Wait for the next episode to read her story.

P.S; Not everyone with depression had a chance to come out of it, it is important for family and friends to notice the changes and help the person. 

 This is personal experience of a friend of mine, however we chose not to disclose her name for her personal reasons,

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